Preludio

11 days

266 hours

15999 minutes

till Alex hops on that plane and makes the trip home to Espana. About this time --before any of my adventures-- the gravity of what exactly I've done begins to sink in. Maybe I've done it too much to get nervous...maybe it'll hit when I get that window seat next to some awkward stranger for 12 hours.

I'm going to try and squeeze in a last minute trip to see guy, hereafter  referred to as A, despite the fact that he thinks it wont work because it happens to be the day before I leave. Alex says...I'm sleeping on the flight anyway.

Anyway A and Alex had fun this weekend. We now have a 'spot' and many established firsts. Him playing on a street corner/for a girl...a first.  Enjoying the trumpet...(for me) a first.  Sushi/Unagi...(for him) a first.  Walking out on a movie...a first; dude, flicks aren't cheap.  Chinese...(for me) a first, though I maintain that Arabic is superior.  Just doing....(for me) a first.  Having a plan...(for him) a first.  I do believe we are on the same page now ;) or at least I hope so because I totally put myself out there.

Anyway in the span of one weekend all the stuff I didn't want to say (but needed to) came out.  I think he did the same.  Relationships (that includes friendships yall, pfft) are about trust, free falling and all that crap.

I just really don't want to hit the ground because for a minute there I was channeling Meredith Grey in an...'I like you in a way that makes me hate you...pick me, choose me' way. *rolls eyes* Yeah.

I have a lesson to plan.

I jumped OFF Usher years ago

 but this...

is kinda my ish.  At the same time I have serious problems with this song...mostly the same problem I have with standard relationship ish nowadays.  People dont get married...they settle for 'wifey' and (worse) 'baby momma' status.  Initially listening to the song it's a cool bob n weave --hell I was singing along-- then I really heard  what the dude was saying.

baby loving you feels better than
everything, anything
put on my heart you don't need a ring
and I promise our time away won't change my love


ER?  You love me so much but I dont get a ring? You dont have the decency to give your girl your name?  Methinksnot!  Vows are the best promise a woman will ever get from a man and that's not even permanent.  These dudes can keep that kind of love; I'd rather sleep with my pillow, thanks.

Words to Live by and J's visit...

What other people say about you is none of your business
                                                          --- Anon
...because having haters probably means you're a baller and didn't know it.

---

In other news, J drove 6.5 hours from Atlanta to hang out with yours truly --I still gots it ;).   Last time we had serious hang time, we went hiking in N. Georgia so I figured another hike would be a good way to start our first day.  We rode out to Lake Wheeler, Warsteiners and chicken wings --yes, chicken wings-- in tow.   As soon as we got out of the car I realized the hike wasnt gonna happen.  NC summer = hot + humid.  We walked for five, plopped down beside the lake and destroyed lunch instead.

We hung out for a bit, come back, cleaned up and left for fayetteville street --the only part of NC that meets J's seal of approval.  As J and I are both sushi freaks, I chose Sono.  There was a lot of this ...

and a bit of this

Now that I think about it, it wouldve been perfect had the waiter not spent the night trying to pick up my dinner companion.  He kept insisting J let him know if he could 'be of service', made zero eye-contact with me and offered J a free drink, despite the fact that J was the DD.  Take note, I'd ordered a $10 cocktail.  Did the waiter offer to comp it?  No, Sir! Then he had the gall to look disappointed when J left the table and reluctantly took the dessert order from me.

How did this dude know I wasnt his girlfriend? 

THE GALL!!!

It did comfort me to know ol dude was totally barking up the wrong tree.  He deserve to get worked, acting funny.  

Day 2 was the Museum of Art --a surprisingly nice museum-- and general chill time.  The museum was better than I expected, architecturally breathtaking, relaxing and a welcome reprieve.  We even pulled out our screwdriver Doctor Who style and examined the collection...the nerdom never stops.    

There was also a good deal of ....

and the requisite amount of shouting, jumping up and down and trash-talking that inevitably comes with it.  Oh, oh, yes, yes and J was also introduced to the bounty and wonder of Bojangles.  All-in-all the last two days were a serious win.  Same time next month?

Please date that Indian girl/expat itch/Emory Love!!!

I have had so many conversations over the past couple of weeks with many different people (white/black girls/guys) on the issue of race and dating...enough to make me want to spill it out here...cause this is my journal and you dont have to read it :P

I understand that people operate within a comfort zone but it bothers me to NO END when they refuse to step outside of it.  Guys, there are beautiful, intelligent and ambitious people out there and they may not necessarily look like you.  It doesnt mean you sacrifice who you are culturally; it doesnt mean you are a sellout; it doesnt mean you need to make excuses.

I dont get it...I have met so many highly intelligent people who would NEVER consider dating the rainbow...welcome to judgement lane.  Aren't we past this?

I'm not pretending to be colorblind or that racism doesnt exist.  Hell, sometime I say racist stuff; however, there is a process of self-correction.  As an aside-- people who pretend to be colorblind are full of it.  We are not all the same.  No, I can't use white girl's hair products unless I want to go bald.  It's basic...we're different.  Learn differences and move on...

P.S. objectification is NEVER cool.  I would not... (repeat) NOT date an brown/white dude that only dated black chicks...or a black dude that only dated black chicks for that matter.  Because we have to be honest...even if your black you are objectifying me.  You are dating what I am instead of who I am.

Okay, I did it.

No more asking if I will date a ___ guy...

I'll just send you the link for this post

DONE.

----

Oh God... I must get out of this country.  I have been stateside for over a month and if I dont leave--say in the next six months or so--I may have to stab someone...in the eye, the left one.  

I'm making a list for my gap-year...of things/places to do/see.   Along the way I have found a few resources that have caught my  eye.

http://www.educacion.es/exterior/usa/en/programs/us_assistants/default.shtml

¿Hablas el español y quieres mejorarlo?  Si hablas un poquito del espanol puede suplicar este programa.  El ministerio de educacion esta buscando norteamericanos con experiencia (un titulo de la universidad es suficiente) para ensenar el inglés sobre espana. He entregado mi suplicacion y ahora estoy esperando una respuesta.

http://www.clscholarship.org/

If you're interested in languages in general this program seems pretty awesome.  Yes, I applied.  No,  I dont know if I will be going yet.  So there it is.

http://www.mesas.emory.edu/academic/arabic.studyabroad.htm

There are also intensive programs in Morocco (Al Akhwayn U) and CASA...which anyone with three years of arabic experience should look in to.   There is a long list here...emory does a much better job that I do.  

Speaking of Emory, I love my school--soon to be alma  mater--but I refuse to spend $400 on a class ring that I will probably stop wearing as soon as I go to grad school.  Can anyone explain the logic to me?  Do you know what you can DO with $400 or 2,187.05 LE?   Thats some ish.  

هو ده

Yay stalkers...really, rah freaking rah

I have gotten 25 calls from a man (I believe) I have never met.  I answered the phone the 19th (or so) time, thinking it could possibly be a random egyptian buddy.  I do pass my number out like candy...but only to truly awesome people.  Anyway the conversation went like this.

guy: hello

       -- an aside: I hate this, when you call you give your name and ask for the person you want if you are not sure they are there.

me: hello?
       -- maybe you wont screw up again.

guy: hello?
       ---WRONG!

me: yes, what do you want?

guy: what is your name?

me: what do you mean 'whats my name'? you called me; you should be telling me your name!

guy: I am mohammed

me: do I know you mohammed?

guy: do you speak arabic?

me: dont call me anymore.


10 calls later I receive a text...and I quote:
if i could give you one thing in life, i would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes to let you know how special you are to me.

......... have we met?

So, I saved this number as NO in my phone so I dont assume he's a friend (I forgot to save) and answer the phone.